Father’s Day after loss was never going to feel easy, and if you’re grieving a father figure right now, whether that’s your dad, stepdad, grandad or someone else who filled that role in your life, we are so incredibly sorry.
Days like this will naturally make the emotions that come with grief feel more present again, even if you thought you were handling things well beforehand. It’s not because you’re taking steps back in your grief journey, but a natural part of the process. At the end of the day, a holiday like this comes with reminders everywhere, reminders of something and someone you wish was still here.
Missing dad on Father’s Day can feel especially difficult because the whole day is built around celebration, and that’s never easy when you yourself may be sitting with grief. And with these feelings there will be questions on what to do on Father’s Day after loss and how to spend it. It’s completely normal to wonder this, but truthfully, the answer is whatever feels right for you.
In This Guide, We’ll Talk About:
- Why Father’s Day can feel especially difficult after loss
- What to do on Father’s Day after losing your dad
- Different ways to remember and honour him
- How to cope with the first Father’s Day without dad
- Simple ideas that may help you feel connected to him
- Giving yourself permission to spend the day however feels right for you
Why Father’s Day Can Feel So Difficult After Losing Him
We don’t need to explain why Father’s Day feels difficult after loss, because of course it does. But we do want you to know that you’re not alone in the way you’re feeling, even if it seems like everyone around you is celebrating while you’re simply trying to get through the day without becoming overwhelmed by it all.
One of the hardest parts about Father’s Day grief is that the reminders are almost impossible to avoid. Social media is often filled with photos and tributes from your friends, adverts on the TV suddenly centre around dads and family gatherings and even the supermarkets seem to be filled with reminders of the person you wish was still here.
Reminders like this are never going to be easy, even if you feel like you’ve been handling your grief well more recently. Part of that is because coping with Father’s Day after loss can be exhausting because you may feel a certain pressure to handle the day a particular way. But please know that grief doesn’t work around the calendar, and there’s nothing wrong with finding a day built around fathers particularly painful when the person you want to spend it with is no longer here.
There’s No Right Way To Spend Father’s Day After Loss
One of the most difficult things about Father’s Day after losing a dad is the pressure people can place on themselves to spend the day in a particular way. But in reality, there is no correct way to handle a day like this.
If you want to spend the whole day talking about your father figure, looking through old memories and doing the things you love, then that’s exactly the right way for you. But equally, if you’d rather distract yourself with something entirely different or ignore the holiday completely, that’s the right way too. Neither says anything about how much you love or miss him; it’s simply what feels like the correct thing for you to do in this moment.
And truthfully, you may not even know how you want to spend the day until it arrives. Just because one year you wanted to celebrate, doesn’t mean that will apply to this year too and vice versa. Grief can feel different from one year to the next, so whatever Father’s Day looks like for you this year, try to let it be enough without judging yourself for it.
What To Do on Father’s Day After Losing Dad
No matter whether you’re planning on doing something small, spending the day surrounded by family or avoiding Father’s Day altogether, there are no expectations around what this day should look like for you now. But if you’re struggling with what to do on Father’s Day after losing your dad, sometimes having a few ideas can help make the day feel a little less overwhelming.
Visit a Place That Reminds You of Him
A lot of people find comfort in spending time somewhere that reminds them of their dad like a place he really enjoyed or a spot that holds lots of memories connected to him. This could be a walking route you both enjoyed together, his local pub, a football ground or a fishing spot. And if leaving the house feels a little overwhelming, that’s okay too. Why not just sit in his favourite spot in the garden or in his dedicated place on the sofa. Even something as small as this can help you feel connected to him.
Cook or Eat Something He Loved
Food often plays a big part in celebrations and holidays, but it also helps keep us close to those we love and miss. So this Father’s Day, you could do something like cooking his favourite meal or ordering his go-to takeaway meal. Even an act as simple as this can help remind you of memories attached to the food and the routines, conversations and familiarity that comes alongside it.
Spend Time Looking Through Old Photos or Videos
Photographs and videos are another way of helping you feel close to them again. Hearing his voice over video or reliving your favourite memories together through photos can feel a little like stepping back into those moments with him again for a while. And for some, that connection becomes something they want to keep close to them afterwards too, which is why photo jewellery can be another nice way to remember your dad on days like Father’s Day.
Write Him a Letter
If you used to write a Father’s Day card to your dad every year and it feels wrong not to do that anymore, or you feel like there were still things you wanted to say before he passed, writing him a letter or card can be a really meaningful thing to do on Father’s Day after loss. Nobody else ever has to read it, but having somewhere to put those thoughts and feelings can help more than you might expect.
Start a New Tradition in His Memory
One of the hardest parts about Father’s Day after losing your dad is realising that the traditions you once had with him can’t look the same anymore. It inevitably leaves the day feeling difficult to navigate and even a little empty. Because of that, starting a new tradition in his memory can sometimes help, whether that’s visiting his favourite place every year, cooking a meal he loved, listening to music that reminds you of him or simply setting time aside to properly talk about him with family. It doesn’t need to be something big or meaningful to anyone else, just so long as it feels meaningful to you.
Keep Something Meaningful Close to You
And sometimes what can help most on Father’s Day is finding something that helps you feel connected to him. You might decide to wear something that once belonged to him or even create a memorial keepsake that holds a real part of him, like handwriting, ashes, his fingerprint or a photograph. It can be incredibly comforting to carry a part of him with you, especially on days where missing him feels a little heavier than usual. Personal keepsakes like these have also become some of the more meaningful Father’s Day gift ideas for families wanting to honour someone they miss in a way that still feels personal and close to them.
Let Yourself Avoid the Day Completely
And of course, as we’ve mentioned a few times now, it’s also completely okay if you want to avoid Father’s Day altogether and treat it like any other day, or simply distract yourself from it as much as possible. You don’t need to force yourself into celebrations, family gatherings or social situations that feel emotionally exhausting just because the calendar says you should.
Sometimes coping with Father’s Day after loss is simply about getting through the day in whatever way feels most manageable for you, and if that means switching your phone off and avoiding conversations around the day entirely, then that is completely okay too.
The First Father’s Day Without Dad
Every Father’s Day after losing your dad is likely going to carry emotion with it in some way, but the first Father’s Day without dad is usually the one people fear the most. It’s the first time the day arrives after everything has changed, and for many people, that reality can be hard to sit with.
A lot of people spend the weeks leading up to it already dreading the day and questioning how to navigate Father’s Day without dad when it arrives. But when it does, there’s no pressure to make meaning from it or spend it in a way that feels significant. The first Father’s Day after loss is often about getting through it however you can, sometimes hour by hour, and if that’s all you manage, then that is more than enough.
Other Ways to Honour Dad on Father’s Day
There are also lots of smaller and more personal ways of remembering dad on Father’s Day, especially if you don’t feel comfortable with bigger celebrations or plans. Very often, the things that help most are the things that make you feel connected to him again.
- Lighting a candle for him at home
- Sharing stories or memories about him with family and friends
- Wearing his watch, jumper or something that reminds you of him
- Visiting a place that always makes you think of him
- Creating a memory box filled with photographs, letters or keepsakes
- Listening to music he loved or watching a film you used to watch together
- Making a donation to a charity or cause that mattered to him
- Wearing memorial jewellery that helps you feel connected to him throughout the day
- Cooking one of his favourite meals and sharing it with family
- Spending time doing a hobby or activity he always enjoyed
Final Thoughts
Celebrating Father’s Day after loss is never going to feel easy, no matter whether it’s the first Father’s Day since he passed or several years further down the line. You’re allowed to grieve on this day, and even in the weeks leading up to it and afterwards too, because that’s a completely normal part of being human and a reflection of how much love you still have for someone so important to you.
And in that same way, there’s no correct way to grieve your dad or spend Father’s Day now, and no expectation to have everything figured out. One year may feel slightly easier to carry, while the next feels unexpectedly difficult again, and all of those experiences are completely normal.
What matters most is allowing yourself to handle the day however you need to, whether that’s keeping busy, talking about him, doing something he would have loved or simply pretending the day doesn’t exist at all. Your dad would never want you putting pressure on yourself to grieve or celebrate in a particular way; he’d want you to do whatever helps you get through the day as gently as possible.
And even if Father’s Day itself doesn’t feel like the right time to keep him close, you can still carry him with you in other ways throughout the rest of the year, whether that’s through memories, traditions, keepsakes or a piece of memorial jewellery you reach for when you feel like you need him nearby.
